DEPRESSION: Why I dropped out of medical school at 500L, ended up as cart pusher –Benue man


43 year old Terhemen Anongo tells J OHN CHARLES how he dropped out as a 500 Level medical student at the University of Ibadan, Oyo State and ended up a porter , pushing a wheelbarrow for a living in Gboko town , Benue State

What is your name ?
My name is Terhemen Anongo

How old are you ?
I am 43 years old now .

Is it true that you attended University of Ibadan?
Yes, I was admitted into the University of Ibadan in the 1996 / 97 session ( as a medical student ) and by 2000 I moved on to the teaching hospital, UCH ( University College Hospital ) but I dropped out when I was in 500 Level because I was suffering from severe depression, which made me lose interest in medical school. Though at a point I tried to go back , the authorities did not allow me .
Where are you based now and what do you do ?
I am based in Gboko , Benue State , where I work as a porter , pushing a wheelbarrow.

Is it true that you recently attempted to castrate yourself ?
You know how the issue of sexual urge torments one when you don ’t have a wife , coupled with your religious beliefs. I am someone deeply involved in religion and I read about Origen Adamantius, one of the early church leaders from Egypt , who paid to be castrated so that he would not be bothered by sexual urge. It was in an attempt to do the same thing that I removed my right testicle but there was a heavy flow of blood, so I abandoned it ( castration) and rushed to hospital.

Why did you carry out the surgical operation on yourself ?
I had earlier visited three doctors because I wanted a safe procedure but they declined ; so I decided to do it myself.

What gave you the confidence to do it ?
It was based on my medical experience in medical school. I got the local equipment to do it with stitches , antibiotics as well as other things . But in the process of removing the testicle , there was too much blood, so I had to terminate the surgery .

How do you feel now ?
The wound is healing wonderfully because I was admitted into hospital for two weeks .
When did you start having depression ?
First of all , it was never my desire to study Medicine . I graduated from secondary school and had best results. I loved Physics and Mathematics , so I wanted to study Engineering , Petroleum Engineering to be precise . I got the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination form and filled it and took it to my dad who was a Mathematics teacher but my dad said no ; he said he had some Indian teachers who told him that the best course for me to study was Medicine . But when I got to medical school , I realised that Medicine is about cramming , memorising terminologies whose origin you don ’t know. So, I lost interest in academic work but I still managed to pass and got to the teaching hospital.
The way University of Ibadan is structured , the people there are not friendly , though , it is the best medical school. I remember a girl who came from the United States for a programme in UI; before she left , she told the Head of Department that their approach was too harsh; that the environment was not friendly . If you don ’t know something , you are not confident to say you don’ t know it . That , coupled with my lack of interest , made me quit .

Why didn ’ t you switch over to another course in the university ?
I tried to actually go back to take another course, at least to change from Medicine to Psychology, but they refused . I tried other universities , including University of Maiduguri and Benue State University , to see if I could switch course, they all refused .

Was that when you started having depression ?
Yes, I lost interest in academic work ; at a point I thought of suicide ; I almost cut off my radial artery , so I could just end it all .

What have you been doing since you quit school ?
I told you I am in Gboko, working as a porter , pushing a wheelbarrow . Imagine a medical student who could have graduated doing that . My mates are now consultants , but I am pushing a wheelbarrow, you can imagine the psychological trauma.

Where are your parents now?
My dad is no more alive but my mum is alive . What she is trying to do now is to set up a chemist shop for me ; she has got a shop and I am trying to raise money so I can put some drugs in the shop . That is what I am trying to do right now because , the wheelbarrow thing is very stressful .
At what point did you decide to castrate yourself ?
Initially , I felt that through fast and prayers I could overcome this libido but it is an ongoing trouble , starving ( abstaining from sex) yourself is not easy ; you get some energy to overcome and then some women around here ( in Gboko) are almost walking naked , you know what I mean. So, I said to myself “ Why not take away the ‘ petrol tank ’?”

Now that you have removed one testicle , has the sexual urge stopped ?
No , it has not. Even now that I have removed one testicle, the temptation still goes on ( laughs) . Now that I have removed one testicle , the sexual urge has escalated ( laughs) .

Are you not considering getting married ?
I am but there is no money. If I have money , I would have married . If I find a woman who is ready ( to marry me ) despite the loss of one testicle , why not?

Do you have a girlfriend ?
I don ’t have a girlfriend because no girl is prepared to date someone who doesn ’t have money . But when I was in the University of Ibadan , I had a girlfriend . Even when I came back home , I had a girlfriend but that was many years ago . So, for close to eight years now , I have not had a girlfriend .

What do you intend to do when you get better ?
As I said earlier, I am trying to set up a chemist shop. I have rented a shop but drugs are not there yet; so I hope to stock the shop once I have some money . At least , that would help me to put body and soul together .
Some thought you had mental problem when you castrated yourself .
It was not from the perspective of mental problem but to devote myself to Christian values and I am not the first person to do that ; that was why I made reference to Origen, the father of theology , the greatest theologian the Church has ever produced . But in the secular world , it is very easy for people to always look at people who do things out of their religious beliefs with suspicion .

What advice do you have for people suffering from depression ?
I will tell them to get medical attention but most importantly, to draw closer to God , whether they are Christian or Moslem . Two , they should have people around them to encourage them . I think they should also get married for those who are supposed to be married . Depression is prevalent among unmarried people . They need to get married because they need someone to cheer them up and encourage them with good meals and good love making .

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